so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
soo... how was my night?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize