i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
