did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
