you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
