i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
