okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
