Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
