And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
