dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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