yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My bed smells like the plague
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
