There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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