i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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