My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
