wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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