This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
