My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
