I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
