I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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