I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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