i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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