The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I love you. Go after that dick
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
