dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think your dad took our porno
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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