I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
