you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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