You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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