talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
