We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
