I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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