So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
