yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
