it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
