Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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