WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
