are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Im part way to drunk.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
