Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
