I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
