No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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