you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
