Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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