Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
