Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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