so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
