i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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