does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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