i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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