Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
