I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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