i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
