I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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