That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
